Surrealism

Health is wealth they say and one of the important factors that contribute to good health is supposedly ‘sleep’. I seem to be struggling with it a lot these past few years. Yes, have read that it could be due to menopause. I attribute anything that I don’t understand to this these days! Makes life easier. But menopause is a topic for another day. 

I am so stressed about not being able to sleep enough that I don’t sleep even when I’m sleepy. But when I do sleep, I dream. Strange dreams. Happy dreams. Sad dreams. Violent dreams. Surreal dreams. And many other types. Crazily enough, I barely remember them the moment I wake up!

I remember watching a movie festival at NID many moons ago. There were three or four movies by this famous Hungarian director named Miklós Jancsó. I remember going every day for four days to watch a movie of his. I understood nothing except for loving the incredibly beautiful cinematography. I was possibly 19 or 20 then. After that, I began to dream these crazy dreams of trains going over a bridge on the  Mahanadi river and the bridge being broken in the middle. Literally missing halfway through and the train just falling off into the river, bogey by bogey, in slow motion! And me waking up!! I carry that imagery with me to this day as it was powerful, scary, and surreal. I actually understood the meaning of surreal post that dream! 

Another time, after our second son was born, I would have a recurring dream of someone putting a pillow over my face trying to snuff me out! I would try and scream but no sound would come. I remember struggling with my breathing and trying desperately to shout and then I would be woken up by the husband as according to him, I was making strange struggling sounds. Eerie and scary!! When this occurred a couple of times, a friend of mine told me that in UP, they believe, that the newborn’s past life enemy or unfinished business, has come to seek revenge. Hence I must sleep with a metal knife under my pillow. I laughed at the idea but was scared too of that dream recurring again. When I told my wise mother about these dreams and my friend’s suggestion, she laughed and said that there is this belief but if I put a knife under my pillow, chances are that it may end up inside my eye!! So I should put my keys instead. And I did. For the next fifteen days believe it or not. That’s the power of a dream. It can make you succumb to superstitions. 

Over the years, I’ve had these dreams a few times and it has been scary each time. However, I have told myself that it is just a dream and I shouldn’t let it get to me. A doc friend of mine said that it is sleep apnea. However, pranayama has really helped sort that issue out. 

Sleep on the other hand continues to bother me. Some days, I just crash and on others, I toss and turn and do the 8,4,7 breathing routine or listen to Calm radio’s nighttime stories and fall asleep.

However, when I do sleep, I dream. Some funny, some scary, some sad, some recurring. it’s interesting how our subconscious works. I believe that all of this is a big part of our lives, so dream on!

Photo Credit: By Christoper Jay Agudo